That we may see

These past few weeks I have been in the "I don't know how much more I can take" state of mind. When I am in that place I often tend to rely on my own strength and forget to rely on God. Every little thing frustrates me - kids riding toy trucks loudly around the house, my two year old not grasping potty training and peeing ALL OVER THE PLACE, the lack of food because I haven't had time to go grocery shopping. When I am in this overwhelming place not only do I tend to rely on my own strength I tend to get short tempered with my family. I let things build, try to stay calm on my own strength, let things build, and boom it explodes over the smallest thing. It could be something as little as tripping over a toy in the kitchen!

I know that this level of frustration is not something I can get rid of on my own - only God can do that. The moments where I lose it (this past weekend with my poor daughter) I am not proud of. I am shameful of them. In these times of deep emotion for me, a battle of figuring out how to handle frustration without turning to anger, I lose my sense of who I am. I become so disappointed in myself for focusing on petty issues when there are such greater needs in this world today.

The Lord keeps telling me over and over it is 

not by your strength but 

by my strength. 

This morning I awoke early knowing it was going to be a long and hectic day. My husband had a fourteen + hour meeting and I had commitments all day with two children in tow. I am learning it is crucial for me to start my day out with the Lord. As I prayed this morning, I asked the Lord to help me see people as the people He created them to be. I asked Him to help me to take time to truly see the children He blessed me with and see them as He created them. I asked Him to pull me close to Him in the frustrating times and rely on His strength, not my own.

Today indeed was a very long and hectic day. This day ended at 9 P.M. with both of my kids having meltdowns of the year (i'm not exaggerating) because they are so tired. Let me tell you, we serve a

faithful God. Not once did I yell. Not once did I want to scream. Yes, I was frustrated and overwhelmed but I prayed. God's strength, patience, and comfort came over me. I did not resent. I did not become angry. I simply prayed and God's hand was upon me.

 I am desiring to live each day desperate for God. Desperate for a constant sense of His presence in my life. Desperate for my eyes to be His eyes. That I may see those around me, the situations in my midst, as moments God has orchestrated in my life. I can choose to jumble them in confusing anger and resentment or I can choose to worship Him in my current circumstance.

Today I'm choosing to see these situations around me as places the Lord has put me in for this time and this place. How are you viewing your circumstances today?