if I have you I have everything

I used to search. I used to yearn. I used to ache, to feel despair, to feel unfilled, and feel a deep
loneliness. There was something missing. I didn't have everything. I tried to find "everything" through having a perfect house, looking perfect, and throwing myself into my job.

When we moved to Michigan I suddenly found myself with out my job. We then added a baby to the mix and my house was no longer perfect and I literally went to the store with spit up on my shirt (the kid spit up everywhere!). I was searching for everything for years and look where it had gotten me. I was a mess. I was empty and I was trying to muster up the will to search, to yearn, and even to ache once again.

In one of the many conversations with my husband he told me, "it is not until you allow God to fulfill you that you will truly be fulfilled." While I did not like that answer I knew it was powerful. It was true. It was strong. I knew I needed to allow God to fill every crevice of my being, the being he crafted and created.

That day began a journey. One of ups and downs but one of true joy, fulfillment, and... everything. I know today that even when struggles come, even when joy and elation come that I will never again search for everything because I have everything. I've allowed God to fulfill me.

You ask, how do you allow God to fulfill you? Surrender. Simply whisper to Him, "I want more of you God. I want you to fulfill me." Begin reading more of your bible. Talk to him like you would talk to your best friend. Ask Him if there is anything standing between you and Him. He will fulfill you and you will have everything. Peace, Freedom, Strength and Joy. Everything.

While I still like my house to look nice I guarantee you there is toddler pee in my bathroom. I'm still working on loving my "after two kids" body but God is helping me to love myself for what he created me to be. I'm still not teaching and have a peace about it. While I feel a career is important it doesn't hold the urgency over me it once did.

I have a peace deep within me because I have everything.

"Always Enough"

By Kari Jobe

I lift my hands to the highest of all
As I draw near
Surrender my life to Your promise, oh God
There is no other

I will find my life in You
You're always enough
Always enough
Let the fullness of Your love
Be all I need
All I need

Consume me, come like a fire, oh God
Reign in me
For You alone will satisfy
There is no other
If I have You, I have everything
But without You, I have nothing