"Mom, our life is not crazy."

Do you ever stop and realize how much pressure you are putting yourself under? I have been doing a lot of "self evaluating" and praying lately and have realized I have been living under a lot of pressure. Often times, it seems everything in life is overwhelming. I have to wonder if this is really what God intended when He created us. Did He anticipate the constant weight of school activities, texts, spiritual burdens we end up making our own,  full calendars, and the cluttered noise of life? I have to say this is not the life God intended for us but He knew His people would have to decipher how to listen to Him. His people would have to pray continually and seek His guidance daily.

This past week we had a very hectic morning. I lost all sense of rational and strongly yelled at my two year old who was exercising her lovely strong will. As I yelled, my two year old began to loudly cry, my five year old went in his room and shut the door, and I was very disappointed in myself. I gathered my kids once all was calm and said, "I am so sorry for yelling. I love you and will always love you." All had calmed down and we made our way with our morning. After I dropped my two year old with our babysitter (who is amazing) I once again said to my son, "I am so sorry I yelled this morning. I am just trying to figure out our crazy life." To which my son replied, "Mom, stop saying that. Our life is not crazy." That comment sent my mind swirling. Either "crazy" is all he has known or the Lord is helping my husband and me to love our kids unconditionally despite all that goes on around us. I really believe that "crazy" is not the only thing my son has known. It is a passion of mine to make time for our children. To help them build a solid foundation with God and have a relationship with them were they feel loved, secure, corrected, and loved again! In that moment something within me clicked. I don't have to live with all this pressure. I simply need to trust God with everything He has entrusted to me.

 I recently read Psalm 131. It says this, 

"Of one thing I am certain, my soul has become calm, quiet, and contented in you. Like a weaned child resting upon his mother, I am quiet." 

After I read that scripture the Lord gave me this prayer:

"Lord, help me to rest in you like this. To no longer live with the pressure I have been putting myself under. To just see laundry as clothes that need to be washed and see our church as your church - praying your way would continue to fruition. Lord, help me to not live with this pressure. I give it to you. I think a lot of it comes to releasing and entrusting things to you. Rather than living with pressure about my kids - pray and entrust them to you. Rather than pressure about ministry - pray and entrust the ministry to you. None of these things are ours. You have placed us in this time and place for a reason and we desperately need to trust you with what you have entrusted to us. Like a flower that is planted, we take care of it and then trust that it will grow. When you plant us in certain places, you trust us to feed ourselves spiritually and expect we will grow. If we take that "trust" into our own hands, it turns into worry, pressure, and heaviness. That is not the life you have called us to. You have called us to a  life of trust. So today Lord, I know one thing I am certain of. My soul has become calm, quiet, and contended in you as I trust in you."

Life is a journey. Commitments, schedules, spiritual burdens, "crazy," will never go away. We can make a choice to journey through life with pressure of what we "should be" or "could be" doing or we can take a look at life through God's perspective. Choosing to trusting Him with what He has entrusted to us.